What inspires a person to act? Fame, fortune, to win over that girl? In this case, the reactivation of my blog/column/ collection of stupid thoughts and words, my soul aim is to spite. I refrain from using the word “revenge” because I’m not that petty nor have the energy and interest to enact revenge.
My original blog, Strefa Jeffa, appeared on the Radio Olsztyn website. My friend Slawek worked there and whenever we had met, I asked about having a radio show there again as I had back in the 1990s. After saying for the upteenth time “We’ll see Jeff”(which means “No Jeff, you’re barely comprehensible in Polish.”), Slawek suggested writing a blog for the radio website. Since, I’m so delusional I was sure this would be the beginning of my road to radio stardom.
That of course never happened, but for two years I regularly sent entries to Slawek who posted them on ro.com.pl. The blog covered a variety of topics from favourite rock groups, a boy’s bad haircut, normal/mentally under-developed children at summer camps to St. Nicholas taking a dump in your shoes. To my amusement and surprise, some people actually read and enjoyed them. Thank God the powers of Radio Olsztyn never bothered to read it. They wouldn’t have been pleased to know I called it a boring station. In fact, they should use an alarm clock on the air occasionally so that their listeners don’t fall asleep while driving.
Eventually,I slowly lost interest in coming up with topics to write about each month. Around the same time, Slawek was having difficulties keeping his job at Radio Olsztyn. He went on extended health leave to avoid being fired, and I stopped writing Strefa Jeffa. Life went on for me. Nobody from the station cared about its absence, my supposed readership never hunted me down demanding further blog entries, Gazeta Olsztynska didn’t write a pleading article with a lame headline, “Mowimy Nie!”
Slawek and I still met occasionally around town, he no longer employed at Radio Olsztyn and I a very busy sought-after English teacher. Now he was setting up his own website, which I still don’t understand how that works, and again he offered me the opportunity to write my blog. Initially, I wasn’t interested in it at all. After struggling for two years to continuously come up things to write about, I had better things to do. But he explained to me how the Radio Olsztyn authorities/directors/fascists had taken down all my previous blog entries because during this PiS /Piss political era, the fine people at Radio Olsztyn couldn’t have a damn American with his perverse views (my favourite was a dog peeing on a snow crucified Jesus during Easter).
So out of spite, I’m back. I’m sure those guys at Radio Olsztyn won’t even know about the re-activated Strefa Jeffa and wouldn’t care. However, I want to see if I can still corrupt some minds in this stupid town.
Let’s start that mission with a joke:
Jesus was on the cross atop the hill. Roman soldiers encircled him to prevent his wailing followers from saving him.
Jesus called out, “Peter! Peter!”
Peter his disciple rushed from the crowd to him. He had to hear the final words of his teacher. When he neared the soldiers, despite his pleadings they beat him up an threw him back to the wailing masses.
Jesus hanging high up on the cross, “Peter! Peter!”
Once more, Peter desperate to be with the Messiah attempted to pass through the soldiers and was thrown bruised and bloodied.
Jesus continued, “Peter! Peter!”
Peter charged at the guards with all his crazed strength and finally fought and pushed his way through. He knelt at the foot of the cross and yelled to Jesus, ‘Jesus, I’m here for you! Please, partake on me your final words!”
“Peter, I can see your house from here!”
Finally, a new part of Strefa Jeffa will be poetry, my poetry. Over the years I’ve written many lyrics for songs. Some oh them don’t seem to fit in a song form but could work as poems. Because so few people read this, I won’t have to worry about somebody telling me, “Jeff, your poems suck!” As they say, “ignorance is bliss” and I’ll have the satisfaction of being musician, singer/song-writer, blog writer and also a published poet. Enjoy.
She’s not here
But you are.
Love the one
you ‘re with
Dance with the one
This song was written
Just for this.
So take my hand
Let’s not waste this song
I don’t love you
But I love this song
We’re all over the floor
And sing that chorus